


Small Section of the Bottom Drawer of Jules' Dresser

by rules_is_endgame



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: Fix-It, Fluff, Inspired by Euphoria (TV 2019)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:21:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24042004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rules_is_endgame/pseuds/rules_is_endgame
Summary: This is my half ass attempt to fix Rue and Jules and make my Rules dreams come true. Basically starting at the end of episode 5 (post roller skating) and I'll probably just stop in.. a while. To be honest I can't stop writing this stuff, my heart is longing for rules :( So enjoy this fic of Rue and Jules, same relationship, just more communication/healthier!! If you have suggestions of what you want to see feel free to comment! My creativity runs out sometimes!
Relationships: Rue Bennett & Jules Vaughn, Rue Bennett/Jules Vaughn
Comments: 23
Kudos: 96





	1. Promise

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any suggestions, I'm all ears, enjoy!

“Can I come with you?” Rue asked as Jules’ foot propped up her kickstand. Rue could sense the hesitation from Jules, but she really didn’t care, she just didn’t want to be alone again tonight. The two had made it such a habit to fall asleep in each other’s arms that Rue was beginning to develop a dependency on it, having a hard time falling asleep without feeling Jules’ arms splayed across her.

“Uh, yeah!” Jules responded casually, and Rue hopped back on her bike. They went down the road quietly, not having to say a word. That was one of the things that Jules loved about Rue. They could just be in each other’s company without having to exert the energy to actually socialize. They could just be separate, together.

Rue climbed up the dimly lit stairs of the Vaughn household. Jules turned around and smiled at her softly, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers together, running circles over Rue’s knuckle. When they entered Jules’ room, they both immediately kicked off their sneakers. Rue had a small section of the bottom drawer of Jules’ dresser dedicated to her things. They had decided upon that about a month into their friendship, when Rue got tired of wearing Jules’ thin tank tops to bed instead of her regular baggy-t-shirt-attire. Rue opened the drawer, glancing down at a small stack of t-shirts, a pair of sweatpants, a toothbrush and a small bottle of about a weeks worth of her BPD meds. Shoved in the corner under all these things was a small plastic Narcan nasal spray. That however, was not from Rue. Jules had gotten it from Leslie’s arsenal. “It just makes me feel better, knowing that if something did happen, I would have some way to help”, she had told Rue once. Rue didn’t mind too much. She grabbed a tie dye t-shirt and her sweatpants. Her and Jules’ simultaneously stripped down and then slipped on their pajamas.

Jules was quiet. She had been quiet for the last few days. Not in a bad way, not like she was mad, Rue could tell that her head was just full of thoughts. As Jules plopped down on her bed, she lifted the covers and motioned for Rue to come lay. Rue snuggled into Jules’ shoulder as she felt the covers drop down over them. She let her arm fall on Jules chest as the blonde's arm lay underneath her. Rue gently kissed her cheek to which Jules grinned and placed a kiss on Rue’s forehead. Rue let her breath sync up to Jules and slowly drifted off to sleep.

-

At first Rue thought it was an earthquake, she woke up to her head rising and falling, dropping onto the soft surface underneath her. She quickly realized however, this was not an earthquake. This was Jules, cold and hyperventilating, with Rue’s head still resting on her chest. She lifted her head quickly, trying to give Jules more room to breathe. Without making any sudden movements, she sat up, one hand reaching for Jules’ pastel pink fingertips, the other running across the blonde girls cheek, which was simultaneously ice cold and clammy with sweat. Rue started to make a “shhh” noise over and over again.

“Shhh you’re okay. Shhh. I’m right here Jules, you’re okay. It’s okay. Shhh. I love you, you’re okay. Shhh.” She repeated the words over and over again, locking eyes with Jules who was obviously overcome by panic. Rue had felt this feeling too many times, she knew what helped. Be there, but not suffocating. Talk, but don’t ask questions. Touch, but not too rough. Rue pushed her curls into a bun on the top of her head to help her focus on the situation. She glanced at Jules’ alarm clock.

3:37am. 3:38am. 3:39am. Rue was still repeating the words, over and over again as the pace of Jules’ breath slowed, finally returning back to a semi-normal state. Jules sat up.

“Do you want to talk about it or do you just want me to be here?” Rue asked, her tone still in a whisper. 

“I have to tell you something,” Jules murmured, tears falling rapidly from her eyes, down her cheeks, and over Rue’s fingers that still rested there.

“Okay?” Rue says softly. She can see Jules curl up even tighter, obviously in fear.

“Hey. You know you can tell me anything right? There’s nothing you can say right now to make me think of you any differently or love you any less” Rue says as she wipes away another tear from Jules’ face. Rue feels a ball of nerves settle into her chest. Whatever this is, it’s big, and it’s definitely not good.

“The night I met Tyler…..” Jules trails off into a whimper, her breath catches again, then she gets ready to resume.

“It was Nate, Rue” Rue’s face doesn’t flinch for a moment, trying to piece it all together.

“What do you mean, it was Nate?” Rue stutters back. 

“Rue he...he was pretending to be Tyler. And then I got to the lake and it was him and-“ she stops herself, takes a deep breath, and sighs out.

“Rue he’s blackmailing me with the pictures I sent him. Not just ‘i’ll-show-the-whole-school-your-tits’ blackmail, like ‘i’ll-have-you-arrested’ kind of blackmail” Rue’s mouth drops before she tries to regain her composure. 

“He has…” Rue starts, but then her mind flashes through a million snapshots. All the pictures that she took, right here, on this bed. Jules with her sheer pink bra on, with the teal one, the one with cherries on it, and then all the pictures without the bra. 

“....he has the pictures of you?” Rue asks

Jules nods. More tears fall.

“I feel so embarrassed and so stupid and so scared and like I never should have trusted-“ she stops as Rue engulfs her in a hug. Her tan arms wrapping around until they meet each other behind Jules. Jules sighs out, releasing all the air, all the fear, all the tension.

“It’s gonna be okay. We’ll figure it out. It’s gonna be alright. I love you. It’s okay.” Rue’s voice sounds dreamlike as she continues, the words aren’t coming out anymore, but she still mouths them.

Rue pulls back to look at Jules, her face stained red from crying, but she gives Rue a weak smile. Jules slowly meets her lips with Rue’s. Her version of a “thank you”. Rue breaks away.

“Thank you for trusting me and telling me that. I’m sorry that you had to struggle with that alone for so long. We’ll figure it out” She tucks Jules cotton candy hair behind her ears.

“Promise?” Jules says in a whisper. Rue reaches down and interlocks her pinky finger with Jules’.

“Promise. We’re a team now.” Rue says.

“Come here” the brunette mumbles as she slips back under the covers, pulling Jules close to her. They’re the reverse of how they started the night, Jules has her head wedged in the space between Rue’s head and her collarbone. 

“I love you more.” Jules says, pressing herself tightly into Rue, wanting to feel her heat, to melt into her. Rue felt like home, and even though Jules didn’t know how, she knew things would be okay.


	2. Remind Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picking up right where we left off because that's how I like to do it. Slightly PG-13 chapter.. hope you like :)

Jules woke up the next morning feeling noticeably less anxious than she had in the previous days. She was still absolutely horrified at the fact that Nate was holding all of this over her head, threatening to ruin her life, dismantle her dreams, and pretty much take away any chance of her ever accomplishing everything she had imagined doing after she got out of this damn town. Rue laid on her side, her back touching Jules’ stomach. Jules wrapped her arms around her tightly, placing a kiss on the side of her neck. She felt Rue flinch for a moment, then watched as her eyes fluttered open.

“Good morning” Rue said, dawning a sleepy smile as Jules continued to kiss down her neck. “Good morning” Jules replied, her mouth still against Rue. Rue giggled, turning so that the two were facing each other. Jules stopped kissing her and placed her hand on Rue’s hip, which was exposed as her t-shirt was scrunched up resting just above her belly button. The blonde smiled and pressed their noses together. They just sat like that for a moment, taking each other in, appreciating the time they had together.

“How are you feeling?” Rue asked quietly.

“I feel a little bit better actually. It feels better not feeling like I have to hide that from you anymore” Jules said, slowly massaging Rue’s hipbone. “I’m sorry for not telling you the truth”. Rue dragged her hand across Jules’ chin as she spoke.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. You were scared, I get it.” Rue said, “I just want to make sure that you know that you can always come to me. You don’t have to protect me from all the hard shit that’s going on in your life”. 

“Have I ever told you that I love you?” Jules asked, grinning. “Not today, remind me” Rue says back. Their eyes meet for a moment before Rue grabs Jules by the chin, guiding their lips together. Rue could feel Jules smiling through the kiss as she let her tongue find its way into Jules mouth. Jules kissed her harder, keeping pace. They were moving quickly now, the tempo shifting from soft and slow to quick and passionate. Jules let her hand wander under Rue’s top, her thumb running from her hip up to just underneath her breast. Rue sighed into their kiss. “Mmm?” Jules questioned without saying words. “Mhm” Rue hummed back, giving Jules silent approval, a wordless consent. Her thumb continued upwards, over Rue’s nipple, Rue tried her hardest to hold in a gasp. Jules giggled yet again.

There was a knock at Jules’ bedroom door. Her hand left Rue, and their lips parted.

“Y-yeah?” Jules stuttered out breathlessly as Rue pulled down the t-shirt that had been raised up all the way to her collarbones. The door cracked open and the two tried to act like they weren’t three seconds away from pushing past second base.

“Oh, hey Rue!” Jules’ dad said. Rue and Jules’ dad had always had a good relationship, even before the two girls had started dating. He loved quizzing her on music, and she loved having someone who felt like some version of a father figure to her.

“Hey Mr. Vaughn” she replied casually.

“I didn’t know Rue slept over last night Jules” he said, eyeing Jules. It wasn’t like he had a problem with it, he trusted them. Jules had told him that they weren’t doing anything PG-13, even though if they were he wouldn’t be bothered by that either. Jules was almost an adult. That was one of the things that Jules loved about their relationship, he loved her and protected her and kept her safe, but let her have freedom and make her own choices.

“Yeah uh, she just slept over after we went out with Lexi” Jules said, trying to sway the conversation away from this topic.

“No worries. I’m making breakfast whenever you guys are ready. Love you” he said as he shut the door. Jules looked at Rue and smiled, acknowledging that they had just escaped a lifetime of embarrassment. Rue’s smile dropped after a moment.

“You should tell him,” Rue said, feeling Jules' body tense at the thought, “he would understand, he would know how to help.” Jules’ dad was a lawyer, mostly family law, which was how he had managed to get full custody of Jules, saving her from the emotional abuse of her unsupportive mother. Jules groaned. “You know I’m right” Rue said quietly. Jules nodded, “I know you’re right, I just don’t want you to be” she curled up into Rue as Rue wrapped her arms around her.

“Do you want me to come with or do you want to do it alone?” Rue asked. “Can you come with?” Jules asked. “Of course” Rue said, squeezing her tight. “Okay, let’s go do this thing. It’ll work out, don’t worry” the brunette said, sitting up and leading Jules out of the bed.

“Don’t think that I won’t pick up where we left off,” Jules says, smirking. She opens the door and Rue follows her down the staircase, squeezing her hand. “I’m proud of you” Rue says. Jules takes a deep breath and gets ready for a conversation that she most certainly does not want to have.


	3. Told You So

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Part 3 of what I can ensure will be a one million part story because quarantine and I have nothing better to do. For clarification (in case there's confusion) Jules' dad's name is David (confirmed in the show) Enjoy <3

“Alright Rue, favorite Rolling Stones song?” Jules' dad says as he slides a pancake onto her plate.

“Ruby Tuesday, come on David” Rue replies with a smirk. David laughs at the remark, Rue normally stuck with “Mr. Vaughn” and only called him by his first name sarcastically. Rue could feel the floor shaking as Jules bounced her leg up and down under the table, her anxiety invading every aspect of her body. Rue let her hand fall over Jules’ thigh and glanced over and her and gave her a calming smile.

“Rue, you know I can’t agree with you on that. I cannot have my daughter dating someone that thinks that Ruby Tuesday is the best Rolling Stones song. I’m sorry, I have standards.” Rue giggles, Jules does the same, even though she’s not really listening to the conversation. Rue sticks her fork into the center of the pancakes.

“Kid, you can’t eat pancakes inside out. I’ve never met anyone else who does that” David says to the brunette in a teasing manner. A single tear rolls down the left side of Jules face as she stares at the wall catatonically. 

“Dad, I made a mistake.” Jules blurts out. Rue grabs her hand under the table, running her thumb over Jules’. Jules’ dad looks at her, confused, but not judgemental. He looks sad already, but not upset at her.

“What’s up JJ?” he asks as Jules’ breath starts picking up again, reminding Rue of the hyperventilation that she had experienced only a few hours ago. Tears are flooding the brims of Jules’ eyes, but in this moment Rue can’t help but think how beautiful she looks.

“It’s okay love” Rue whispers to her quietly, trying to encourage her. David just waits for Jules to be ready.

So Jules begins, “Dad, a few months ago - like before I was with Rue…” she trails off, thinking of all the memories she’s made with Rue, all the sleepless nights just talking about the future, how the future they imagined could just be taken away within moments. “Dad I met a guy, on an app. We talked for a long time. I sent him...pictures” she says, breathing in deeply before continuing. “He wasn’t who I thought he was though. It was Cal Jacobs’ son, Nate. And now he has these pictures of me..and he’s threatening to send me to jail because of them.”. That’s it, the hard parts out. No one says anything for a moment. Jules’ dad is trying to hide his shock, and Rue is trying her hardest not to cry for Jules. She can feel her pain. “I don’t know what to do dad. I’m so scared and I need help”.

David just stands up from the table, walks over to Jules, and hugs her tightly. She cries harder at this. How could he love her the same after this? Without judgement or anger? “I’m so sorry,” she says to him. He pulls away and looks at her for a moment.

He sighs, “It’s okay Jules. I’m not mad.”

“Yes you are” she says back to him, Rue doesn’t know what to do in this moment. She feels relieved that this is going..relatively well, but her heart is still aching in unison with Jules’.

“I’m not Julesy. I’m sad for you. I’m disappointed that you did that, but I can’t change that now, so it’s okay” she breathes out deeply. Letting go of everything that she’s been feeling for the last month.

“Well J, whoever is blackmailing you is an idiot for more reasons than one. First of all, you aren’t going to jail, and you aren’t getting put on the registry.” Rue squeezes Jules’ hand and closes her eyes. Jules’ jaw drops, confusion setting in. Her dad continues, “If he were to go to the police with your..pictures...you would get fined, $100 at most. He’s the one that could get jail time for keeping those photos of you and holding them against you. You’re okay.” The two embrace tightly, and Jules’ tears stop flowing as she smiles gently.

“I feel so stupid” Jules’ says as she covers up a sob with a laugh.

“Don’t. Everyone makes mistakes.” he says, “Wait, what’s he trying to make you do? You said he’s blackmailing you..what does he want from you?”.

“He wants me to go to the police and say that I witnessed something that I didn’t and I just..I can’t do the same thing that he’s doing to me to someone else.” Jules’ replies.

David laughs, to which Jules eyes him, “Jules, we can put him behind bars for that. That’s extortion and attempted suborning perjury.” Jules doesn’t really understand what that means, but Rue does. She spent far too much time googling perjury last night after Jules fell asleep.

“Listen J, let me go into the office today, and I’ll throw together a plan for this. We aren’t letting this son of a bitch get away with trying to ruin you.” David stands up in a hurry.

“I’m glad you came to me Jules. This is what parents are for, I’m here to help you.” he hugs her close before grabbing his bag off the counter and picking up his keys. He kisses his daughter on the forehead before whispering, “But Jules’ never pull that shit again. You understand me?” he says.

Jules looks at Rue, who’s still sitting down at the table, trying to give Jules and her dad some space, then back at her dad. “Trust me, I’m not planning on ever dating again” she laughs as her dad walks over to Rue, pulling her up and into a hug. Rue meets his eyes. “Thank you for taking care of my girl, Rue” he says to her, before walking out the front door and embarking on his trip to the office.

“What the fuck...just happened” Jules says as Rue pulls her into a hug. Jules does something that sounds like a mix of a sigh and a laugh. Rue just holds her tight, thanking the universe in her head that Jules can breathe easily now.

Rue laughs as she lets go of Jules and presses their foreheads together. “Told you so,” she says. Jules kisses her, with tongue, in the middle of her kitchen, approximately 20 seconds after her dad had left. Rue lets her hands wander from Jules hair to her shoulders to her hips, lifting Jules up and sitting her on the kitchen counter. Jules wraps her legs around Rue’s torso as she continues to kiss her. Rue breaks away for a moment to bite Jules’ pale shoulder, to which Jules gasps. This is moving fast. Normally Rue would think this was too fast, but this was Jules, and there was no one she loved or trusted more than her, and she knew that they were both ready for whatever was about to happen next.

“Rue..” Jules says softly. “Rue..my room..now” she says. Jules hops down from the counter and smiles, biting the inside of her cheek. She grabs Rue’s hand, “Race you” she says as she rushes up the stairs to her bedroom.


	4. I'm Sure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii hope you enjoy this :) also i'm gonna be completely honest i'm a little nervous to write the next chapter bc i want to write this smut without feeling like it's fetishizing trans people soooo if you have any advice on that pls drop it! also suggestions are welcome for what you want to see in the next few chapters. also i love this chapter bc i feel like its pretty accurate to the way rue and jules treat each other :) ok love you guys byeeeeee

Rue was out of breath by the time she reached the top of the staircase, and Jules was ahead of her, still holding her hand. 

“No fair, you got a head start” Rue said, trying to catch her breath. The truth was, she wasn’t upset at all. She loved letting Jules win, even when they argued, she’d let Jules win just because she loved the way she would smile as she said “I know I’m right, but we were both wrong for fighting in the first place”. They didn’t fight often, and when they did the fights were quickly resolved. They hated being upset at each other.

Jules locked the door behind Rue, and kissed her, allowing her tongue to graze over the freshly tattooed portion of Rue’s bottom lip. Rue winced at the pain before gently biting Jules’ bottom lip.

“I fucking love you, you know that?” Rue said as she picked up Jules and sat her on the edge of her vanity. She started to kiss down Jules’ neck, letting herself pay special attention to the area right under her jaw. Her heart was beating so fast that she could hear it in her ears. This was how Jules always made her feel though, even when they were just talking or laying together. Every moment constantly felt like a first date that you never want to end.

“I fucking love you so much more” Jules whined as she let her left hand glide down from Rue’s stomach to her thigh.

“Can you take this off?” Jules said, tugging at the hem of her pajama top. So Rue did, because how the hell do you say no to someone this intoxicating? Jules took her own oversized top off simultaneously as she balanced on the edge of the vanity. They fell back into their routine, kissing each other so quickly, so deeply, like they were trying to put all their thoughts about each other into motions.

Jules let her hand wander down, grabbed the waistband of Rue’s sweatpants and pushed them down slightly. Rue’s breath caught in her throat and her whole body went hot as she pulled away quickly.

“Wait” she said, Jules immediately snapped back into it and realized what she was doing.

“Fuck, I’m sorry- I thought. I should’ve asked I’m so-“ Rue cut her off by interlocking their fingers and squeezing Jules.

“No. You’re okay.” Rue said, suddenly her anxiety was washing over her. She felt her hands start to sweat against Jules’. She regretted interrupting this, but she knew she would have regretted it even more if she hadn’t.

“You’re okay, I just….” her voice trails off for a moment. “Can we talk about this for a second first?” Rue says. Jules’ body relaxes, realizing that Rue wasn’t upset.

Rue liked knowing. She was not a fan of surprises or being impulsive or just “going-with-the-flow”. She liked lists and plans and a system. Even when she was using, she was methodical about what she would be taking, never changing her routine. Jules knew this about her. Before they went out on a date, Jules would always lay out everything, tell Rue what time the movie would end, what movie it was, where they would go out to dinner afterwards, what flavor of ice cream Jules was going to get at the same little shop they always went to. Rue loved this about her, she knew her inside and out.

“Of course we can. Do you wanna start?” Jules asked, kissing the tip of Rue’s nose.

“I feel nervous. Not because I don’t want to do this, because I do-“ That was the truth. She did, in fact this was all she wanted to do, but her stupid brain wouldn’t stop buzzing with questions. This was the system the two had worked out. Whenever either of them were feeling uneasy or scared or stressed, they would speak about it like this. It was something Jules had learned in therapy, ‘I feel’ statements. Jules watched as Rue tapped the vanity beside her.

“I’m nervous because I’m afraid that I’m gonna mess up? I’m scared that I’m gonna do something that makes you uncomfortable or not right? So I guess I just want to know like, what not to do?” Rue said. Jules looked at her with her big blue eyes. Something that most people don’t know about Jules is that she likes making lists too. Not in the same way Rue does, though. Silly things.

-All The Flavors of Ice Cream That Rue Has Tried On Our Dates  
1\. Strawberry - this is her favorite even though I told her that it tastes like astronaut ice cream.  
2\. Mint and Chip - we both like this one, it doesn’t taste like toothpaste, no matter what Lexi says.  
3\. Coffee - she spit it out into the trash after taking a bite. I bought her strawberry to make up for it. 

-Things That I Can Do When Rue is Anxious to Help Her Calm Down  
1\. Tell her stories, she likes being able to focus on something other than how she’s feeling. Her favorites are the ones I tell her about when I was younger.  
2\. Find something to count with her. Sometimes we count the number of tiles on my kitchen floor or lockers lining the hallway at school.  
3\. Lay with her. She likes quiet sometimes, so I lay there next to her and listen.

-All The Music That Rue Likes to Play When We’re Together  
1\. Way too much 90’s R&B. I pretend to like it, I don’t, but she does.  
2\. Music off my playlists, I never know how she finds them, but I love it.  
3\. Cage the Elephant. Last week I bought us tickets to see them in the summer. I haven’t told her yet. She screams their music in her room when she’s getting ready and it makes me smile.

The last list though, the one with far too many reasons, was entitled 

-Reason Why I Love Rue  
1\. She makes funny faces at me in art when she can tell I’m getting frustrated with what I’m working on.  
2\. She insists on doing rock paper scissors to see who gets to decide where we go to dinner.  
3\. When she focuses on tests in English, her tongue peeks out of the left corner of her mouth.

Now, mentally, Jules was adding  
-She always solves problems before they even arise, cares more about how I feel than what she wants, and always makes me feel safe.

“Thank you” Jules whispered to Rue, letting all of her nerves dissipate with those two words. Knowing that Jules understood what she was saying. No one had ever asked Jules this before, it didn’t seem like anyone else had really ever cared. 

“Rue, I trust you” Jules says casually. “I don’t think there’s anything that you would do that would make me uncomfortable, but if things start going in a direction that make me feel weird, I’ll just tell you.” Rue smiles at Jules. “What about you? Is there anything that would make you feel uncomfortable” Jules asks, returning the question, trying to feel out the situation.

Rue kisses her, and Jules moans into the kiss, feeling Rue’s tongue push into her mouth. They kiss until Rue runs out of air. “Nothing” Rue replies, finally.

And with that, Jules lets her hand slide under Rue’s waistband, and then under her boyshorts. They gasp in unison. “Fuck me” Rue whines. Jules giggles back to her. “Are you sure?” Jules asks one last time. Her eyes meet Rue’s, she looks different, like she’s begging, using big puppy dog eyes. Rue’s hand meets Jules, pressing it firmer against her.

“I’m sure”


	5. Pistachio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi hi!! first of all, my apologies on literally leaving u guys hanging. i didn’t mean to i swear!! i’ve noticed a lack of works being uploaded to this fandom as a whole and i’ve kinda been attributing that to our attention being shifted to current events!! speaking of, happy juneteenth to all my black friends! i hope u all are taking care of your mental health as much as you can during these scary times. i would encourage ALL of you to continue working for justice! 
> 
> soooo i didn’t pick up exactly where i left off because tbh i’m just not comfortable with writing smut yet bc i feel kinda weird writing about other people’s bodies (plus i’m the biggest virgin in the united states so it would probably be zero percent accurate!!) but who knows, maybe that will change (my willingness to write smut, but also the virgin part lolz) so ya! be looking forward to updates on this fic and my other fic ( “perfect timing” ) because writing does good things for my mental health and i know reading it is cool sometimes too!! 
> 
> hope you all are staying safe!! love u <3

“F-fuck Jules” Rue stammered out as her back slammed against the mattress. She attempted to separate the small ringlets of hair plastered to her forehead as Jules rolled over beside her. Rue whimpered as the aftershocks hit her and Jules giggled.

Yes, she had the audacity to fucking giggle.

“We should’ve done that like...a long time ago” Jules said as she placed a small peck onto the side of Rue’s neck.

“No shit Vaughn” Rue replied, turning to connect her chapped lips to Jules’. Now, looking at Jules you might imagine that her lips tasted like bubblegum or cherry lipgloss or like strawberry fucking shortcake. Rue had thought the same thing, not that she was thinking about the way that Jules’ lips would taste before she kissed her...okay, maybe she spent all of third period for 2 weeks straight thinking about that. Anyways, the point is, all of those guesses? Wrong. Much to Rue’s surprise (and Gia’s, because of course she had told Gia all the details) Jules’ lips tasted like peppermint. 

Rue peppered small kisses all over Jules’ face, across her cheeks and forehead and chin. 

So this is love, Jules thought. Not lust, not infatuation or obsession. This is pure, unbridled love. This sex wasn’t fueled off of secrecy or curiosity. It was just a byproduct of emotion, not the purpose of their relationship.

“Whatcha looking at?” Rue asked after Jules’ crystal eyes had been fixed on her for a few moments. “You okay?” she asked.

“I’m just thinking about how fucking lucky I am to be here with you right now” Jules said.

“Like….in this bed where we just fucked? Or like in life with me” Rue responded with a smirk.

“Umm….both?” Jules laughed. “Mostly the second one though. I would feel lucky even without the sex” she said as she kissed Rue’s nose. “Even though we’re pretty damn good at that too”. They both laughed, limbs entangled.

“Can you guess what I’m thinking?” Rue said, getting up to grab clothes from Jules’ dresser.

“Get up and go to the airport and take the first flight to another country and change our names?” 

“No, definitely not that. Have you met my mom? She would be hauling our asses back home before we even got off the plane”

Jules laughed. This is what she loved. She loved every single thing about Rue, but especially her quick witty banter. They could go back and forth for hours until their cheeks hurt from laughing.

“I was thinking..ice cream” Rue said as she slipped on the only pair of pants Jules’ owned that didn’t look like they came straight out of a craft supply store.

“Why am I not surprised. Like, at all.” Jules said, joining Rue as she grabbed her skirt off the floor.

“I would love to get ice cream with you, Rue Bennett” she said, wrapping her arms around the brunette.

“But only if you pick my flavor”

—-

So there they were, in the same little ice cream shop in the corner of town with Jules refusing to accept the travesty that was pistachio ice cream. 

“It’s like pineapple on pizza. Fruit in salad. Everything about it is wrong” Jules argued.

“You said I could pick!”

“Yeah! Because I didn’t think I had a complete monster of a girlfriend who’s trying to feed me green nut flavored ice cream!” Rue’s eyes flickered up, her facial expression falling.

“Girlfriend?” Rue asked with a questioning look.

“I mean...yeah I guess that’s what I would call this if that’s cool with you? Me, you…” Jules stopped, trying to gauge Rue’s response.

“Jules Vaughn...I never thought I would see the day” Rue said, laughing as she shoved Jules arm.

“I never thought I would see the day, when you, Jules freaking Vaughn, would voluntarily sign up for commitment” Rue looked at Jules, who was standing in the middle of the ice cream shop with her jaw dropped.

“What can I say? I’m a changed woman” Jules finally said after a beat.

“Yeah right, no one changes Jules Vaughn. And even if I could I wouldn’t want to” Rue replied, pulling Jules into a kiss. She pulled away after a moment with a gasp.

“I lied” she said, sounding baffled. “I can and will change one thing about you” Rue stated matter-of-factly as Jules squinted her eyes.

Rue turned to the ice cream shop employee, “Pistachio for her please. In a cone


	6. I Don’t Even Know What to Call This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> welp...this wasn’t where i was expecting this to go but...this idea crossed my mind on the way home today so here we go

It was Tuesday. The third Tuesday in October. Jules had only known that because the first time Rue had kissed her was a Tuesday, and they had had tiny celebrations every Tuesday since. Of course their version of “celebrations” basically just translated to “eat shitty sushi together on Rue’s couch”.

Rue was hard to read. Actually, they both were. That’s why on the third Tuesday of their “thing” (something neither would have the balls to call a “relationship” yet) they had agreed to asking each other “how are you really feeling?”. So that’s why when suddenly Rue didn’t show up to school that Tuesday and their text conversations looked like:

jules: heyyyy!!! meet u at my locker?

jules: where ya at?

jules: rueeeeeeeeeeeeeee

jules: are u not here?

jules: omg bitch kat said u weren’t in english, are u home?

jules: hey i’m worried about you, can i come over?

Jules knew there was a problem.

So, after 6 hellish hours of anticipating what she would find when she walked in Rue’s bedroom, she stopped by the market on her way to Rue’s and picked up tea and fruit. Chamomile and strawberries. 

As Jules approaches the Bennett household on her bike, Gia silently unlocked the door and let her in.

Jules loved Rue’s house. It felt like a home, not in the way that her own did. Her own house, with its modern design and sleek decor, felt almost cold.

Jules entered the kitchen, filling up the tea kettle and placing it on the stove, and then filling up 2 glasses of water. One for Rue, one for herself. She knocked on the door, only to receive no response.

“Hey Rue Rue, it’s me” Jules said as she opened the door to Rue’s room. 

Now, let it be known that Rue is a messy person. In fact, she always made jokes to Jules about how upset she was that she didn’t have “I need everything to be spotless” OCD, but rather “I need to flip the light switch 7 times or else my sister will die” OCD. So, clothes on the floor and textbooks strewn across her desk was not an uncommon sight.

This was different though.

This was i’m-in-a-depressive-episode-so-bad-i-can’t-move messy.

At least half a dozen empty plastic water bottles littered her floor. Almost the entirety of her closet had made its way to the floor as well. Desk and dresser drawers opened. In the middle of it all, a small bundle laid in the bed, softly grunting to acknowledge Jules presence. Jules sighed, this was Rue at rock bottom, and she knew it.

She made her way across the room and sat next to Rue’s limp form on the bed, allowing the covers to drape over her. Rue turned to face her. Her eyes were puffy and red and tears brimmed them. Silently, Jules wrapped her arms around her.

Jules made eye contact with her. She couldn’t help but think that even when she was like this, she was gorgeous. Jules raked her pale fingers through Rue’s matted curls. The poor girl was in serious need of a shower and sleep and a hug. 

“What’s going on, my love?” Jules asked as Rue snuggled into her. The whole room was incredibly stuffy, and Jules made a mental note about having Rue take a shower. 

“I fucked up Jules” Rue said as she sobbed into the blonde girl's shoulder.

“I fucked up really really bad.” She repeated as Jules made small circular patterns on her back with her fingertips.

“Hey hey hey,” Jules whispered “Whatever it is, we can handle it. Do you wanna tell me so I can figure out how to help?”

Rue started to hyperventilate, hiccuping her words out “You- you’re gonna- you’re- you’re gonna hate me” She said, becoming hysterical.

Jules sat up and gripped her hand. “Hey, no. Look at me,” Rue tilted her head up to meet Jules’ eyes. “Everyone fucks up. I fuck up like...every single day, it’s okay. I promise that I will try my best to understand whatever happened” Jules said.

Rue only cried harder.

“Did you….” Jules didn’t even want to say it “relapse?” Rue shook her head. Jules breathed out of relief. 

“Okay, okay good. See, you’re okay? So what’s up then”

Rue stirred, tears in her eyes, and let out the last sentence she ever wanted to have to fucking say out loud.

“I slept with Nate” Rue said, looking at Jules with concern. “Before us, before the carnival. I was high and I had just kissed you and I didn’t-“ She paused, looking to gauge Jules’ reaction. “I barely even fucking remember.”

She was so angry at herself. She blamed herself. Of all of the stupid shit that she had done while high, this was by far the shittiest.

Jules’ mouth hung open in shock. She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t disappointed. She was sad. Not sad because Rue had slept with Nate, but sad because Rue had so much pain in her heart about it. I’m going to fucking kill him. Jules thought.

“You….” Jules couldn’t form the rest of her sentence for a moment, just looking at Rue and her glossy eyes. 

Jules took a deep breath. “Okay. You slept with Nate Jacobs. Rue, bitch” she looked at Rue, letting a small smile cross her face to indicate her lack of anger “it’s okay. You fucked up, you didn’t know, it’s gonna be okay” Jules reached over to hug Rue, let her know that it was okay, she wasn’t losing her. 

“It’s not gonna be okay” Rue whispered, refusing to meet Jules' gaze. Her lips were pressed together in a tight line.

“Yes it is, love” Jules responded.

“No, it’s not” Rue reached over, fumbling with her bedside table drawer for a moment before retrieving what she was looking for. She slid a small plastic stick into Jules’ hand that was placed on her hip.

“I’m pregnant”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL ladies....gentlemen. how are we feeling???!?! are we interested? do we hate it? let me know?


	7. Reassurance

Jules stared at the Bob Marley poster on Rue’s wall for several moments, trying to close her mouth which was currently gaping open.

Finally, the blonde got the sense to pull herself together in order to say a few words to the girl lying next to her, who was curled up into a ball once again.

She leaned over and kissed Rue’s forehead, and then proceeded to wipe the tears from her face. Pulling the brunettes face up to lock eyes with her, she spoke.

“I’m not mad at you. I’m not mad at you for sleeping with Nate or for being-“ she couldn’t even say it. “But I do feel kind of upset at the situation, and I don’t want to say anything right now that I’m gonna regret.” She pauses as Rue nods.

“So, I’m gonna go pour your tea and bring it in here, and then I think I’m gonna go for a walk really quick so that I have some time to think. I’ll be back in like 20 minutes and then we can talk?” Rue nodded again, wrapping her arms around Jules’ neck as Jules placed a small kiss into the crook of her neck.

Jules walked through the kitchen to pour Rue’s tea, and then dropped it off at her bedside. Grabbing a hair tie off of the nightstand, she gathered Rue’s hair in a bun at the top of her head for her. Another small forehead kiss, and then an “I love you”.

———-

Jules did not, in fact, go for a walk. She went for a sit-on-the-curb-in-front-of-your-pregnant-drug-addict-girlfriend’s-house, because honestly she was pretty sure if she exerted anymore physical energy in her current emotional state, she would pass out.

Her head was flooding. Rue was sitting in her bedroom 50 feet away with a clump of cells in her that was half her and half Nate fucking Jacobs. The thought of it made Jules nauseous.

This was not what Jules thought was in their future. When she picturered her and Rue together 10 years from now, she imagined a tiny New York apartment with maybe...a cat or a fish or something. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted kids. 

She was sure about one thing though. 

She wanted Rue.

She wanted Rue and everything that came with Rue. The good, the bad, and the ugly. So it actually seemed like a simple decision. She wanted Rue, there was another person inhabiting Rue’s body. She wanted both of them.

——

Jules let herself back in to the Bennett household, passing Gia as she made her way to Rue’s bedroom. 

Jules tied her own hair back and plopped herself down next to Rue, who looked up at her expectantly.

“Okay, I’m in” Jules stated, as if it was obvious.

“You’re in?” Rue responded quietly.

“I’m in. You want to keep it? I’ll hold your hand while you push that kid out. You want to go to Planned Parenthood and pretend this never happened? I’ll drive. You want to put it up for adoption? I’ll come with you to look at parents. I love you, I’m in. Just tell me what you need.”

Rue stared at her, dumbfounded.

“Jules, we’re seventeen. I’m not gonna force you to-“ Jules cut her off with a kiss.

“You aren’t forcing me into anything. I’m choosing this and I’m choosing you. So what’s the plan? How long have you known?”

“I’ve known since last night. I’ve been feeling shitty for a couple weeks but I thought it was just withdrawals or anxiety or some shit” Rue paused.

“Here what I’m thinking,” Jules began. “I know you feel like shit. Why don’t you take a shower and I’ll try to tackle some of the mess in here” Rue nodded and hugged Jules tight.

This was love, Rue thought. Love was fucking up so big, and that person loving you anyways. Love was the other person wanted the best for you. 

Rue finally rolled out of the bed that she had lived in for the last several hours and headed towards the bathroom.

“Wait” Jules stooped Rue in her tracks. “How long?” She was trying to size Rue up. Seeing if she could tell. If she would’ve known everything was different if Rue hadn’t told her.

A kind of sad smile crossed Rue’s face.

“Ten weeks” she said, lifting up her oversized t-shirt. She looked pretty much the same, Jules thought. Maybe a little bloated, but not noticeable.

Jules got off the bed and stood up to hug her.

“We’ll figure it out,” she whispered “it’ll be okay”

And Rue believed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! trying to be more consistent with uploading so here ya go! hope you guys are enjoying, feedback is always nice and you guys are always so sweet. hope you’re all doing well :))


	8. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: r*pe/non-con. please don't read if that content is gonna be harmful to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm back and better than ever. i knowwww a lot of u aren't huge fans of this fic and thats ok! i just think it's interesting to write + it keeps me busy so i'm back w another chapter. hope u like :)

Contrary to popular belief, Jules could drive, she just preferred not to. When Rue had discovered this, Jules had spat out something about “carbon emission rates” and “our carbon footprint”. The truth was that Rue had never really given a fuck about carbon emissions until her candy colored girlfriend seemed so passionate about it.

So there Jules was, in the driver's seat of her dad’s Camry, going at least 60 in a 45, with Rue beside her gripping her seat.

But let’s set the scene.

\--------------------------------

Rue was fresh out of the shower, the steam surrounding her as she walked into her room in a fresh set of pajamas. For the first time in weeks, she could see the floor. The bed was stripped with the exception of her bare pillows and a few blankets from the hall cabinet that Jules had retrieved. Her clothes had been tucked neatly into their respective drawers, and the textbooks on her desk were stacked. Jules sat on the bed, sipping from a mug.

“You did all of this in..half an hour?” Rue inquired, setting her dirty clothes into her laundry basket.

“What can I say, I was a woman with a purpose” Jules giggled “Your bedding is in the washer, I set your clothes there too, I’ll go switch them in a minute”

“You're the best person I know, did you know that?” Rue said as she engulfed Jules into a hug.

There may be a lot of things that Jules isn’t the best at. Geometry, public speaking, and cooking had proved to fall into that category. One thing that Rue was sure Jules was the best at, though, was loving people big. She might not always be the best at expressing it, but she loved so overwhelmingly, giving everyone she knew the biggest chunks of her heart that she could manage.

“I’ve been told” Jules said as she nudged Rue down to lay next to her, enveloping her in blankets.

Rue fell quiet for a moment, an action which Jules recognized as her “falling into her own head” as she had put it once.

“Hey” Jules said as she dragged her thumb across Rue’s temple.

“What’s going on up there?” Jules asked, Rue turned towards her.

“I don’t remember it. Any of it. I remember waking up half naked and seeing my clothes on the floor. I remember seeing him next to me and being confused and disgusted. But I don’t remember..it” She said, tears welling in her eyes.

Jules felt white hot anger bubble in her stomach. Nate had done this to her. These tears were caused by him, this fear that Rue felt all stemmed from him.

“Do you remember beforehand? Like..was it consensual?” Jules asked, continued to trace small shapes on Rue’s forehead.

Rue shook her head, and a tear spilled out from the brim of her eye.

She choked back a sob. “Why do I feel so fucking ashamed? I didn’t-”

“I don’t even-” her breathing sped up.

“Hey, hey, hey” Jules whispered, “you have nothing to be ashamed of. This wasn’t...you were high and he was sober and you...you never consented for this”

Jules had never seen someone in so much pain in her life. Not when her mom was leaving, not when she was in the unit, not even in herself. The pain that Rue was in took up every inch of space in the room.

“I love you so so much Rue, more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life. I love you so much and I wish I could take this pain from you, and I’m so sorry that I can’t”

Rue locked eyes with her, and the look in her eyes said everything. 

“It would be really irresponsible for me to have a baby” she whispered

“Nowhere in the AA survival guide says that you can’t be a parent, love” Jules paused to consider her next words carefully, “I think you would make a great mom, now or later. But more than that I know that you’re gonna be a great person, and your value isn’t reduced to your ability to be a parent.” Jules says, snuggling into Rue.

“Can you take me?” Rue asks through tears “To the clinic, can you take me”

“Of course, my love” Jules placed a kiss on the side of her face near her eyebrow.

“You wanna go now?” Jules said as she watched Rue slip out of bed in her pajamas and slip on her beat up converse. 

“Yes, yeah, I wanna get this over with” Rue said as she gathered up her hair.   
\-----------

So, yeah, the two of them are in Jules’ dad’s Camry driving to Planned Parenthood at 5pm.

When they walk in, Jules lets Rue do the talking. She’s 100% behind her decision, because it’s just that, her decision. However, she doesn’t want Rue to feel like Jules is taking control of this situation.

When they’re greeted at the desk, Rue murmurs something to the receptionist about needing an appointment for a termination. Jules settles herself in a chair in the waiting room, and picks up a People Magazine that is at least 2 years old.

Rue plops herself down next to her and begins filling out the paperwork.

Bennett, Rue Marie

September 14th, 2001

Other various information that she fills out robotically.

Jules flips through her magazine, occasionally showing Rue outfits that she has dubbed “outrageously hideous, literally a crime to humanity babe”. Rue can tell that she’s trying to calm her nerves.

Meanwhile, Rue’s heart rate is pounding in her ears, her stomach has a funny feeling in it, and suddenly she can’t focus. She tries to ground herself, attempting to fixate on the plant in the corner of the room, or counting the number of polka dots on Jules’ shoes.

“Jules” she whispers. Jules’ doesn’t hear her, probably because her voice was so quiet she herself barely heard it.

“Jules” she says again, slightly louder, still in a whisper.

“Hm?” Jules replies, her eyes still fixated on a page of “Who Wore It Best?” Blake Lively, Rue thinks, Blake Lively always wears it best.

“Jules this feels wrong.” Jules looks up at her suddenly, taking her hand.

“Okay, do you want to leave?” Jules asks, trying to remain as calm as possible in hopes that Rue will match her energy.

“Please” Rue stutters out, as she practically runs out of the waiting room without giving an explanation to the receptionist. She walks quickly to the car, flings the door open, and sits down.  
“I thought-” Rue starts, then pauses.

“I’ve always-” She cuts herself off again.

“Hey, take a breather, it’s just me” Jules says.

“I’ve always been pro-choice? I’ve always been okay with abortion. I don’t know why I feel like I can’t do it. It’s the reasonable choice. I’m seventeen, I believe in abortion, I-”

“Hey, lovey” Jules whispers as she locks eyes with Rue once again, and Rue falls quiet “Being pro-choice doesn’t mean you have to have an abortion. It just means that you want to have the choice. You have the choice, it’s okay to say no if you don’t want to have an abortion.”

“I feel so...ridiculous. I should want this. This would make the problem go away”

“You don’t have to justify your decision to me Rue Rue. I told you, I’m behind whatever you want to do”

“I think..I’m gonna keep it. But I don’t want him to..know them or have any control over them. It’s mine” Rue says with confidence.

“Okay, let’s do the damn thing then.”


End file.
